Before the first snowfall

I try and get outside, every day! Now with the cooler weather we are usually bundling up. Brr!

Yesterday we had the perfect afternoon outside, sans coats and hats.

I was able to snap a few photos of the Sugar, which I might add is getting harder and harder. She moves so much, doesn't want to "look at MAMA!" and would rather click the buttons on the camera, than smile for  it.

 

 

Mommy's helper

 

 

 

 a squirrel came to say "hello"

 

I am not even considered an amateur photographer...just trying to learn how to focus...anyone wanna help me learn a fixed lens?

 

Saving the best for a last......

 

soup for Fall

I think soup has become the main staple in our household this fall. I have one to two cooking every week and am loving all the new recipes I find.

 

If you need an easy, delicious recipe this is for you.

You can omit, add or mix this recipe up with many veggies  & types of meat.

 

Cook up spicy chicken sausage in large stock pot.

 

sauté onions and garlic in pan ( slice onions very thin & let garlic sit for 5 minutes after mincing before adding to the onions)

 

add chopped celery & carrots

 

combine all ingredients into large stock pot with stock and diced squash

 

simmer for 30-40 mins or until squash is tender, add kale half way through

 

A little helper is always a must....

 

 

 

I add pepitas, and sometimes goat cheese to my soup.

 

 

 I had lots of squash left  over, I froze it for my next soup!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

let the celebrating begin

This month has flown.

We have already celebrated so much this month: Parker turned one, friends babies were born and many more little moments of celebration.

 

November 3rd we mark one year in our home, and from then on out until May we have multiple things to  celebrate and honor.

 

 

 

 

We started our book on Jim Elliot and we are hoping to read about Hudson Taylor, as well this month.

I got a great book from my favorite author Jeannette Walls- A Silver Star

We are enjoying the leaves, cooler weather and lots of snuggle time. I think a fire is in our near future.

 

 

1 Corinthians 10:31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

coffee, anyone?

I am sure some of you have seen the DIY pumpkin spice coffee.

 

I was a bit apprehensive.  I love coffee but don't like all the unnatural flavors they use to make it so scrumptious it with. I

 

When I found this simple recipe I was thrilled and tried it right away.

 

You will need:

~over cup drip filter- mine if from Starbucks, find similar here.

~filter

~cute, large mug

~nutmeg

~cinnamon

~cloves

~ginger

~boiling water or milk for a creamer coffee

For one large cup:

I added 3 tablespoons of ground, flavor free, coffee.

1/8 teaspoon of cinnamon, cloves, allspice and ginger and 1/4 teaspoon of nutmeg. I love nutmeg and so I added more.

Boil water and pour into your filter. Add ice or drink hot.

 

Voila, a cheap, no fake, GMO filled flavorings.

I sweetened with honey and almond milk.  You can also use other seasonings, a pumpkin spice blend, vanilla and if you're wanting a real treat, whipped cream.

the sweetest season

Fall came upon us so quickly; the leaves are bright yellow and shades of reds and oranges. I cannot believe it is October.

I love fall for many reasons; the decorations, the cozy sweaters I can finally wear, laying in bed with a crisp breeze blowing in through the window (yes we leave them open), toffee nut mocha's and fires in the fireplace. Life seems to slow down. Knowing I have to put a coat on to run an errand usually deters me, I just want to stay warm.

As I drove home from Boulder yesterday I realized that this season, Fall, is a great season to prepare for the Winter season. Prepare with my heart. Many holidays are coming and I am wondering how I can be more heart and mind ready to enter into those days of celebration. I usually get so overwhelmed with the to-do's, I have to actively choose to rest and enjoy.

A great book I have is called Celebrating the Christian Year. This book has given me such great insight into holidays, the history behind them and ways to celebrate what may be known as a "cultural holiday", in a way that brings deeper awareness of Jesus, his kingdom and turning our focus away from the commercialized day.

We have decided to celebrate Halloween! Elaina will be Madeline (the sweet Parisian girl) for Halloween this year. After praying and thinking about this holiday we feel that its our job to help our children bring light into a holiday that many believe to be dark: souls of the dead revisiting their family. Although the pagan roots of Halloween are to celebrate the dead (and more) we feel that as a family we can celebrate those who have passed, whether that's family members or men and women of the faith who were martyred. We are going to get a book about Jim Elliot this week and read the book over the coming weeks. We want to enjoy the fun of dressing up & decorating our home with gourds, pumpkins and everything Fall. Making pumpkin bread is also a must. We feel a great opportunity is available in sharing with our children about the light, Jesus has given us and giving them a chance to hear about those who have given their life for Him.

Our thoughts are this: how do we bring light into the dark world, whether on Halloween or any other ordinary day.  We could choose not to celebrate Halloween but we may be missing a great opportunity to connect with our neighbors, greater community and having a chance to give our kids a perspective that builds their spiritual foundation.

These coming months will become more special as we create memories and instill the true meaning of Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines Day & Easter  in our children's hearts.

We hope to focus on Jesus, family, giving to those in needs.

Halloween Activities:

Read story about Jim Elliot

Decorate our home

Visit a pumpkin patch

Make pumpkin bread

Deliver one meal to a family in need

Ill write posts for each holiday and what we as a family are doing to create traditions and heart connections in our family.

Right now I am working to simplify, wind down and in this moment,

find some warmer socks, its freezing!!!

 

Here are a few pictures from our family trip to  Cottonwood Pumpkin Patch

good because we are loved

As I look ahead as to what I hope for my children  I cant help but know, and feel called by God to have my child's heart, not just their obedience.

One scripture I think on often is Romans 2:4: "Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can't you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?"

As parents we have the power to shame our kids from a very young age. We make statements such as:

Why cant you be more like....
What is wrong with you....
You ALWAYS do that, when will you lean....
You embarrassed me....
You make me angry....

The way we treat our kids is the way they will think God views them, thinks of them and ultimately if he loves or doesn't love them. When in truth, he loves them and is working to kindly lead each one to himself.

We have a choice to bring blessings or curses onto our children. Let what we say about them, to them and behind their back be what we hope of them!

A statistic from church service the other day said, 1 out of 10 comments in Christian homes, towards children, are negative.

As parents who hope to change out children's bad behavior, for fear of embarrassment, fear they will "always be like that", or feeling disrespected; shaming a child will work for a little while but the deep seeds we plant will be there forever.

We need to look at our kids and focus on a changed heart that leads to obedience. Through kindness, patience (TIME!), maturity,  this can be accomplished.

I want my babies to be good because they are loved, not loved them because they are good. How can I be kind and lead them into better attitudes and behaviors. All of which comes from their heart.

A great article shares this exact idea. The people of the bible are painted in a light that they are not human, they don't make mistakes and that God's loves "good little girls and boys".

Joseph was a good little boy (unlike his “bad” brothers), and God made him Prime Minister of Egypt. So be good like Joseph.

David had a pure heart (unlike his brothers), and God made him King of Israel. So have a pure heart like David.

Esther was an obedient girl. God made her Queen of Persia and she saved God’s people. So be obedient like Esther.

We forget that David was a murdered, Esther was an adulterer, Abraham was an idol worshiper.

Luke 6:45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.

How do we bring forth the goodness in our  kids. What goes into our kids heart is what motivates their actions, words and behaviors, and most importantly their thoughts behind it all.

If our kids are struggling lets be honest about our struggles. "Mommy is having a hard time too, God is asking her to be more patient and its a lot of work growing", "I am working on my attitude too", "You're not done, God is still growing you"

I know I felt shame growing up. I don't think my parents ever intentionally meant that, but I did. I felt like I had to do the check list and be like my sister. As our kids make mistakes may we connect with the deeper heart issue (foolish child  who doesn't know better or conscious defiance) and help them as they work to change their behaviors.

I want my kids to know that their uniqueness is designed by God and I am always on their side to help them grow into the person he made them to be. How can I be kind and loving towards their mistakes and disobedience as they grow & mature?

God loves you, nothing you do will change that.
God is committed to your good.
God does not treat us as our sins deserve.
You are not done, God is still working on you.

If we as mothers and fathers don't believe this, how can we pass it along to our kiddos?

We love him, because he first loved us.  1 John 4:19

giving up a little dream

After many months, pretty pennies and a little effort we have said goodbye to our chickens.

Goodbye sweet Chickadees. I spent many hours praying, worrying and justifying my decision to keep you, but my heart (and God) said, NO!

Reasoning: We spend more on one week of care for these little ladies when we travel, than it would cost to support a beautiful, local farm.

Instead, we have decided to take the sales of the coop and make two more large garden beds. Much greater yields and something my Little Heart can join me in- without all the messiness.

I wanted chickens to teach my babies as well as have a way to provide for our family; gardening can do the same thing!

Guess Roo now needs her own mini garden tools and kneeling pad. She is gonna be a busy gardener. We start our fall seeds in a week or so!

today.

 This precious smile has been what has helped me these past few days. I have been  (deathly) sick. And usually when I am sick I am emotional and very extreme in my "diagnosis". I wrote a "will" for myself, something we as a couple have yet to do. I guess writing a will seems so morbid, I am not ready for that. When I got  sick  (amidst the foggy head ache and crampy stomach) I realized (not for the first time) that I have many things I want my husband, E and my family to know. 
What do I care about that  I want my Hearts to know.
What would I want my little Heart to know about  her mama.
I want to tell my husband that he has given me more than I could have ever asked for ( I tell him often!). We live a beautiful life!
I wrote what curriculum I want my sister to teach E for home-school.

Lets just say, my husband is one heck of a guy for putting up with tearful, frantic typing at 11pm on a Monday night.
I am doing much better. I laughed amongst the stomach bug and severe headache and thankfully, my sweet Heart, is a calm & laid back. We did lots of reading and listening to music. I realized that I am not in control (ah, not a surprise for this lady!).


I am sure each of us realizes we have much to loose.

For  me I fear loosing E's innocents. I have worked hard, and continue to, try and keep trauma out of her life. I want her to always have a mommy and daddy. I cant imagine those who loose a parent at a young age.

I want to be there for the moments that I have imagined I would experience along side her. Cooking, her first sentence, seeing her play with all her cousins on Christmas morning, getting a dog, many more things I have hoped to be a part of.

I am so thankful for today. That is something being sick helps you realize.

I know that my deepest hearts desire is that E loves Jesus, that she chooses to follow him and  will walk with him to bring his kingdom to a broken world.

That is what I want.

And that means I choose to trust in the way that God chooses to bring that prayer about.

I hope I am around for the journey.


A few more pictures from our sick week.....

E got vanilla ice cream from Glacier one day, I couldn't eat any, so she did for me.

 We got plenty of fresh air

blessings

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. O God, the triune, God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made thirsty still. Begin in mercy a new work of live within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise up and follow Thee up from the misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus' name. Amen. A.W. Tozer

To say the last weeks have been rough would be a major understatement. We had a leak a few months back and finally had the company scheduled to come out and start the renovation and installment of floors in our home.

We had a hardwood flooring guy and tile company come out and sadly we will have to have our hardwood floors redone. Long story...for another day.

I remember when the leak from our fridge happened and we filed a claim with insurance; I was praying that God would use this for his glory and bring unseen blessings from it.

What I really meant was earthly blessings; new tile, new floors, upgrades, etc. Selfish, right!

Little did I know that this would be the most challenging season thus far in parenting and marriage. The flooring company really stressed me out, which in turn, made me stressed as a mommy and wife. I was on edge with Chris and felt exhausted with Elaina. Nothing they did, it all had to do with how I responded to the situation and let the little things control me, while I tried to control them!

I think sometimes as believers we want to experience the blessings from God in the earthly sense- more money, nicer things,  better job promotion, more friends, the list goes on. I don't usually (what I realized) ask God for spiritual blessings; a greater love for people, more patience, a heavenly perspective on my circumstances,  a servant heart (that's joyful!).

During this past week God really challenged me to see that through this process I can grow in my spirit by trusting the earthly things to him and seeing how even struggles; bad flooring company, 4 days in a horrible hotel, stress from Elaina not sleeping well, Chris and I on edge,  needing to be in control, can bring a greater depth to my heart and relationship with Jesus. It makes me rely on him more.

I know that God wants to bless me. Sometimes, maybe most of the time, he wants those blessings to be my heart knowing him more and becoming more like Christ. The earthly blessings are just a huge bonus and a way to trust him more! When we struggle its a chance to grow our hearts and becoming more heavenly/kingdom focused. We can use those times to become more attuned to Christ and his work. I don't want the good earthly blessings to cloud the opportunity for spiritual blessings, even if those blessings come through struggle. Usually I want spiritual blessings that come from joy and happiness!

Follow the leader

This week I asked God to let me join him in seeing Elaina into the life and plan he has for her.
I know as her mom I struggle with my hopes, dreams and desires for her.
God has a much better, mind blowing mission for her and I want to follow him, as he leads me, to lead her!

Something I learned from the PC (plane crash) was, God knows everything and although I only see a small portion he sees the whole. Glory, Hallelujah!

I see characteristics, personality traits, likes/dislikes in E and I also have my own ideas of how to raise her to have a heart for Jesus, His world and people.

God knows better!

My prayer today and for our  future as her parents is: "Let me love you first (pursue my walk with you intently), help me listen to how you want us to raise (address moment to moment issues) E. I will step out of the way and let you do your work in her life. May I not be a hindrance to her by doing what I think is best. I will follow your lead in parenting her. THANKS FOR GRACE. Help me stay humble. 

Forgivness....

This was a long time coming. I was hiding from the reality that I needed to forgive. I didn't know until now that I need this.

I realized yesterday as I took a much needed mommy outing that I needed to forgive God. Something I did when I went through counseling after the PC was to forgive God for allowing things into my life. I believe that God is in control, sovereign and that all things go through him. This can also cause someone, like myself, to blame God and be mad that he allows pain, struggle and heartache into my life.

I had forgiven God for the PC & many other things in my life. But after 15 months I had not forgiven him for allowing me to have a c-section with Elaina.

I knew (and so did everyone else on my delivery team) that I would not have been able to deliver E with out a c-section. I can tell you that it was God's hand protecting she and I. That he knew exactly what he was doing. I believe that 100%!

But...a huge part  of me felt like God let me down. And yesterday I realized this. I felt like after all my hard work, planning and prepping that things should have been different. I should of had a natural birth. Even if, in the end I needed drugs...

Yesterday, I realized that I still blamed God and while I knew the c-section was what needed to happen, I felt betrayed.  I know God doesn't owe me anything; I have more blessings, than I can even think to thank him for. Yet, I still act entitled or let down when he doesn't do it my way!

Parenting, FROM DAY ONE, been calling me into deeper surrender of control!

I came home from my outing and shared that I needed to have a family meeting. Over dinner I told Chris and Elaina that I forgive God. That I struggle so much with control and I am working on giving that up. I kissed my sweet baby and hugged Chris. Chris told me that he is proud of me. And he was sorry that this part of my life has been such a difficult thing for me.

It was healing; good to share and confess.

Strong Willed Children.....

Today at the grocery store Elaina was walking around; she loves to walk and when we are not in a rush I like to let her expend some energy! We had spent a long time at the shopping center, we ate lunch, walked around and strolled over to a few other stores. She kept wanting to go back inside one particular store, I knew she was getting tired, so we needed to go. I kept helping her turn the right direction and encouraged her to come "my way". She got a bit fussy and sat down, started crying a bit. A older woman (60's/70's) passed me and said "looks like a strong-willed (SW) little girl". I didn't even look at her and just picked Elaina up.

First off, I am probably reading into her comment (as pointed out by my sister, Sarah).
None the less, when she made the comment it seemed as though she was saying that kind of trait  was a bad trait for her to have. That me as a mother, "better tame that kind of behavior".

Personally, I think being SW is an amazing trait to have and should be accepted and encouraged. Having a strong sense of self, a strong desire for something and drive, in general, is something I think many people are lacking. 

As a mom I hope to encourage any character trait that my child has (her personality) to be glorifying to God, first.  Obviously, there are traits that are not Godly and I will be training (it takes time) each child in Godly characteristics. If God has made E to be SW, then I hope to encourage her behavior to first, glorify him, love others and use it to grow his Kingdom. How many people in the bible do you think were SW? Probably many of the leaders and disciples. They needed a goal and mission. Leaders need to have a strong yes and no; this comes with training (which takes time) children at a young age when and where to use those, yes's and no's.

I wont be using the term SW with Elaina, to me, it has negative connotation. I will be working to say things like "I know your passionate about such and such, can you please....." Validating feelings and trying to understand her frustration when she doesn't get what she may want. I want to create emotional safety with my kids.

I felt like this lady's comment was directed at my parenting. Which I'm sure most moms would be defensive about, its a very personal thing.

I knew it would be hard, but I was not expecting a 60 year old lady to be, probably the first, to make me feel this way.

A couple things to think about:

~Sometimes kids are irritable, sad, grumpy, etc because they are tired, hungry or bored. As a parent think about what time of day you are taking them out. Have they eaten? Have they had a good nap. Help make each time out a success for  you and your child. You wont get upset, or frustrated and you will enjoy your outing more.

~Kids capacity for shopping and grocery store runs, are limited. Bring activities, snack and things to occupy them. Keep away from things you know they may want and could cause them to become upset over...i.e. toy aisle.

~Its not a sin, or "bad" if your child is outgoing or excited. Sometime we may think their personality, which may be different than our or cause others to look, is bad. Try and think about what is sinful/"bad" behavior and what is just "who they are"! Help them, by daily training, on what you expect.

~Lastly, this all takes time. Elaina is ONE YEARS OLD! We will be helping her for many years to come. Find a close group of people who support your families direction and goals and stick close. Out close friends know what we believe and what we want for our family. I have found that having friends who are not in line with us or don't support us causes me stress and I feel judged (whether the judgment is there or not). Its okay to not talk about certain topics with particular friend. Choose what your comfortable sharing and not sharing.


 I'm a bit scared, this is just the start of this parenting journey. Hoping I can be gracious and loving, softening the blows of the righteous (probably not on purpose) parents in the world.

Refining Fire

We are experiencing yet another summer with wild fires in Colorado Springs.

We have our dear friends here, their 4 beautiful children, 5 chickens, 1 salamander, and 1 dog. Our friends, Dawn and Bill live in a beautiful home on 5 acres in Black Forest. They have been wonderful, encouraging friends to us and we are so thankful that we can support them during this time.

  

Pine Hill Farm: Bill & Dawn's Home

As I have been praying, crying and working to keep a strong faith in God's glory and his peoples good; God keeps telling me that this, for me, is the refining fire.

My foundation is being tested, and he is making me stronger, more solid! The refiners fire is what God spoke to me this morning. I hate it, yet I love it! I'm so thankful God works on me, that he is patient while I grow.While I learn to walk more a closely, more in tune with his love and care for me.

"God sent the message through the prophet Zechariah that He
would "refine them like silver and test them like gold" (13:9). That is painful,
but look at the promise: "They will call on my name and I will answer them; I
will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.'" The
blessing will be ours." ~God is Love Blog

worship for your day

I was just introduced to Kim Walker Smith and been so blessed. She has an anointing and true gift from God. My mentor shared this CD with me a few weeks ago and it plays all day.

Chris and I were struggling with Elaina one night and helping her get to sleep. Chris and I were a little frustrated with each other and the song 'the king is here' was on. I kept hearing the lyrics throughout our ordeal and it was a neat reminder that God was here, he would help us and more importantly, I wanted to honor Chris and work as a team to bring God glory in our parenting and marriage.

Be blessed!


The King is here, the King is here
You're alive inside of me
The King is here, the King is here
Love will never ever leave

We worship and we praise
We lift Your holy name
We rejoice for our King is here
We're living to proclaim
You've opened Heaven's gates
We rejoice for our King is here

You are here, You are here
You come in power and majesty
God, You are here, You are here
Every heart has been set free....

City of Gods Delight

Long ago (4 years ago) Chris and I spent time praying over our family and what God may have as our family scripture. We felt God remding us, specifically me that our marriage and our new famliy was just that, new! God was pleased with us and that we could step into a new life, new love and new family, through marriage. I struggled with feelings that I may be carrying over fears from my family (behaviors, ideas, depression, the list goes on) in my new marraige if I was not intentional about starting new.

The scripture we had been 'given' as our family verse was Pslam 62:4: Never again will you be called "The Forsaken City" or "The Desolate Land." Your new name will be "The City of God's Delight" and "The Bride of God," for the LORD delights in you and will claim you as his bride.

As we have been married I have continually felt and seen God's delight over us. I came from some desolate places in my family growing up. I have been reminded many times that God is making me, through my marriage to Chris and our family, new.

Interestingly enough, Paris, where we got pregnant with Roo is often called La Ville-Lumiére: The City of Light- I never knew this till now. We picked E's name bc of the meaning: light & bc it was French. God is sneaky, isnt he. Light is weaved through our story.

He even weaved our family verse into our child. I imagine him smiling right now. I truly believe he is happy with me, pleased with me. Something I didnt always feel (growing up) from my earthly father.

Through his son, Jesus, my marriage to Chris and now my sweet, Heart, I am seeing even more of God's delight and joy over me.

1 year

I am honestly so emotional today. What mother wouldnt be? My baby is one!

This past year had too many emotions to name and so many memories that instagram will never capture.

I am thankful for many sleepless nights, boogie noses and the chance to hold my baby every day.

We are blessed.

Today I think about the years to come. The responsiblity that God has given me and Chris and what A HUGE gift E is to us.

I am tearful because today I look at myself and think how much better I need to be. How much I need to grow. I feel so inadequate. I feel so unprepared for the road ahead.

I felt this way one year ago as I held a 7 hour old baby- but something about that time seemed easier.
I needed to feed her, I needed to change her diaper and make sure she was warm. Her character was not really something I was concerned with at a few hours old.

I have to live a life that reflect strong moral character, love for God and kindness to others (the list goes on as I am sure you know!). The fruits of the spirit. YIKES!

I feel so inadequate.

Today I just need Jesus and his loving kidness to wash over me and remind me that just like I will guide E, God will guide me. Funny how what I feel for Elaina, God feels for me, except a MILLIONS times more.

Because of Jesus I am off the hook. I will choose to seek God on how to raise E. I pray his grace covers all my mistakes and that through our love for her, she chooses him. This next year seems more important than the last, spiritually.

I know one proactive thing I can do for both she and I: PRAY! All we can do is pray. Pray circle around our babies all day, all night. Its about leaning in. Getting closer. Going deeper.

I leave myself (and you) with this quote:
Prayer turns ordinary parents into prophets who shape the desinies of their children, grandchildren and every generation that follows ~Mark Batterson

beautiful

As I reflect on my last 12 months I cant help but think about the 9 before that. I loved being pregnant. I loved that my body did what it needed to (gainging weight & growing sweet Roo). I never felt more pretty; my body was doing what it was designed to do.

For many women it can seem like you're always (at least me) trying to eat better, tone up, lose weight, get heathy. When I was pregnant I was not so focused on the losing part. I was excited to eat well and let my body do its magic. I felt so free. I was able to losen up and relax. I gained 30 lbs and while I marveled at the scale I was proud that I was able to accept and be excited for that gain. It was for such a great reason.

There are times I wish I was pregnant again so that I would have an excuse for a little tummy (not perfectly toned) or a few extra lbs (not to make excuses). A reason to not be so harsh. A littel breathing room. Pregnancy didnt give me a license to be mindless and neglectful of my body but a chance to accept how strong and good my body is. I never had that Taco Bell Amy wanted me to have!

I know its a never ending battle for some women, and it may always be a struggle for me. Hoping I can learn to accept the wonder I am.

first

This week I was blessed with a beautiful book on my doorstep. Blessings for Mothers.

I have had a few tougher weeks lately and a thoughtful, loving friend, knew what I needed.

More Jesus! Redirection.

I feel God has been nudging me to go deeper and really take it up a notch.

The enemy thinks I should take it down.

God knew I needed encouragment and a loving shove in the right direction this week.

I know many days it seems that seeking God is more work. More time. And I 'don't have much time' these days, I tell myself.

God reminds me that my time is His time, and if I dont choose Him to take up my 'first time' all else will be out of sync.

I have been more peaceful, more restful and much moer filled this week.

Make time for the good things. Give God your first fruits of time. All else will fall into place.

Yours

Easter Day

There are moments that are sobering for me as a wife & mother. Last night as I was washing dishes Chris shared about a friend we knew from college who just had their 20 week ultrasound. They found out during their appointment that their daughter has Anencephaly, her brain has not formed fulled. Chris shared a post they wrote about how they are already seeing their precious daughter change lives and bring joy. Even in the midst of such heart break & devastation.

I continued washing dishes. Praying.

As I washed,God clearly asked me some questions. ' Do you surrender to the life I have for Elaina? Do you give all her days to me; even if that is a few or  many? Even when you dont know the plans I have for her!?'

Playing with my chickens

I want in my deepest places to be part of the life God has called Elaina to. Even if we don't know what that looks like. Sickness, health, life, death, joy, pain, the list  goes on.

This family I know, is pressing into Jesus and allowing their daughters life to be what God wants it to be; even if that's only 9 months in the warmth of her mama's belly. They were told she would only survive a few hours once she was born. 

I have tears as I write this because I am so blessed, so honored, to have a healthy little girl. God has entrusted me and I think this may be the first time I have actually said out loud, and with my heart, Jesus she is yours.

May I continue to say this everyday.

leanin'

park
chickens
ear infection, double ear infection
exhaustion
Instagram
Good Friday
dessert night for work
reading: families where grace is in place, sacred influence & same kind of different as me
lay in my bed
pinterest
nap time with mommy
boogies
gym: HIIT
Easter baskets
gardening
party prep
reading blogs
canceling on friends
doctor: physical
free coffee: only 2 days left
facebook
waiting for hubby
running
Psalm 8: daily reading
music
baking: oatmeal PB bars
swinging in the backyard


Oh, these are just a few of the things my week has consisted of.
Thankfully, this week has been a leanin' into Jesus week. I was so encouraged by this blog post by Sally (I always am!) I have praying through the things that take my attention and mind away from my calling as a mama & wife. We got rid of TV a few months back and I have to say, its been a great decision. I deleted a lot of my apps on my phone and our family has a no phone hour(s) from 6-9pm every night. We just have too many attention suckers in our  life!

I think as E grows she will know more and more and feel what I care about; her or my phone/computer/tv.
In this article Sally talks about mothers not having direction. Well I think, many people (moms) have direction, but its the wrong direction.

"When I look out a young moms today, I feel compassion, and I also feel that they are like sheep without a shepherd. Many long for direction and input and wisdom, help and support, a night of sleep, a couple of hours away—a small break from all the pressures, yet the mamas don’t know where to go to find this small bit of help."

I have been searching for the direction of our family, my marriage & my parenting. The direction that God has for us, not the world. So many times its easy to 'pin' a idea or a good thought or compare with others on what 'works'. But God is my director and I need him. Taking time to read his word and his thoughts, not pinterests. Although it can be helpful and fun, its not the ultimate word.

I am working on blueprints for our family- what do I hope to have built in 5, 10, 15 years? What are the plans I have in place. Like a house being built from the ground up, I need to plan (in these early years), prepare (with Gods word, support & discipline), and then execute the plan God has for us, all while listening to him as he directs us.

Sometimes it seems so daunting and scary. I get scared bc this little life is so precious to me and I want to treat it with the most honor and gratefulness that I can. What a beautiful gift.

All I can do is continue to lean into Jesus, his grace and mercy and his holy spirit (GLORY!) to lead and guide me.

whirlwind

I have a 10.5 month old little, bundle of bright, sunshine. Today I woke to her smiling ear to ear and laughing. She has started laughing at any and everything. Herself mostly! She is exploring a lot more lately, but still not tearing my house apart like I had thought, maybe this is coming!

I have started planning her birthday. Paris is the theme. Pink, Gold and Mint are the colors. We will serve quiche, crepe bar and Italian soda's. Yum!

 

its never too early

This past week I started a new family tradition...hopefully a family lifestyle!

I have been wanting to read my bible more. More than just my bible study or before bed reading. I decided that Elaina needs scripture in her life. Since I wont ever know the day that she 'gets it', I should start now so that when he does 'get it' its there, ready to meet her!

We have been reading the bible every morning out loud to E at breakfast. I have a few other books I intersperse: power of a praying parent, praying gods word day by day and prayers for mothers of  newborns.

Its been such a neat time and really good for me to start making normals in our household around seeking God, his word and his way!

faithful now.

About 10 years ago I came through a very dark, lonely, depressed season. I had been in a relationship that was life sucking and honestly, sinful.

I chose to turn to God and live His way!

Coming up from the darkness I experienced such drastic life, hope and grace. It was an emotional time for  me and rightly so, I was truly living again. I was not bound to lies, manipulation and depression.

Lately I have been struggling because  life has been mundane. I am wanting an emotional experience to make me feel close to God (can you say 'lie from satan'?). So, last night I picked up the book I had read 10 years ago that was helpful in renewing my spirit & walk with God. Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby. As I picked up this book yesterday I was hoping that as I started I would feel some sense of renewing & excitement. I didnt feel anything and clear as day felt God say to me "why do you think that you will ever have that experience ( from 10 years ago) again? Why do you want to 'relive' those moments? You are not there, or even close to that place, you cant go back.....you are light years ahead!".

I was convicted about the fact that I wanted to replay, redo or reenact that amazing experience but that I never could. God has done so many (too many to count) things in my life, heart and relationship with him that going back would take me from real solid food to baby purees. YUCK!

I know God is moving. In my life. In my family. I am on board. I am here, joining him, daily. I love him. I want to serve him. I want to do his work! I just have to realize and change my mindset that God is doing a new thing, the old has gone! I need to stop looking at what used to work, or what once filled my spirit. God is working and filling me in new ways, in ways that fill me and grow me as Karin today, not Karin 10 years ago.

My prayer is that I spend time with God in the ways he wants me to. Ways that, in this moment of my life, he sees best. Reading scripture, listening to worship music, doing a bible study, sharing the gospel, being in a moms group, are all things I believe in and care about. But God in this season with my tiny one is not calling me to do it all. And our relationship, certainly, is not based on emotional feelings.

Its when life seems mundane that I start to feel insecure. Is what I am doing matter? Is my relationships with God really growing if I am not seeing fruit 'like I used to'? Going back to the former things (that worked and grew me) wont spark anything in my spirit if God is not willing it. I want to see fruit so badly. As a believer seeing growth and being part of God's work is life giving, it brings joy and excitement.

As I laid in bed and shared with my mentor God gently said.....
'Ah, Karin! Welcome to the season of sowing!'....be faithful in this. This is what I have for you, now.

Quinoa Burgers

I made these for Chris and I but Elaina had one bite and was in heaven. She has been teething and wont eat anything except yogurt dots and Plum Organics veggie puffs. I ended up making another batch today after seeing how much she loved them last night. I added a few things for her (sweet potato and black beans to get her more veggies) and left out the egg whites, adding coconut milk to make it more moist.

 

                                               

·2 cups cooked quinoa.I used my rice cooker and it was amazingly fluffy. 2 parts water to 1 part quinoa.

·1 medium carrot, shredded (optional (highly recommended): black beans, sweet potato pureed in food processor)

 

 

·1/4 teaspoon black pepper

 

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

·3 large eggs, beaten (for E I only used Yolk and added Coconut Milk)

 

 3 green onions, white and light green parts, finely diced

 3/4 cup whole wheat bread crumbs

 

 

 

1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

 

·3 ounces soft goat cheese, crumbled

 

·1-2 tablespoons olive oil for pan-frying

 

 

I left all the burgers uncooked and froze till I was ready to cook them.

Ingredients:

2 cups cooked quinoa ( used red quinoa but any kind will do)

· 1 medium carrot, shredded

· 3 green onions, white and light green parts, finely diced

· 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

· 1/4 teaspoon black pepper

· 3 large eggs, beaten

· 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

· 3/4 cup whole wheat bread crumbs

· 3 ounces soft goat cheese, crumbled

· 1-2 tablespoons olive oil for pan-frying

 

1. In a medium bowl, combine the first 5 ingredients and mix well.

2. Stir in the eggs, bread crumbs, Parmesan cheese, and goat cheese until well blended. You may want to get in there with your hands to mix it all up.

3. Form the mixture into balls and then flatten them down into patties that are about an inch thick.

(Note: I made these some time ago and my memory is not that great. You should probably get about a dozen 2-inch round appetizer sized patties or 4 if they are veggie burger size.

4. Heat 1 tablespoon of oil in a large skillet over medium heat and add patties so they are not touching. It may take a couple of batches.

5. Cook for 8 to 10 minutes, or until the bottoms are browned. Flip the patties and cook the other sides until equally browned.

6. Remove from the skillet onto a paper towel, if needed, to absorb any excess oil.

7. Enjoy immediately while they are still delicious. I saved a few to reheat later but they had become terribly dry!