1 year

I am honestly so emotional today. What mother wouldnt be? My baby is one!

This past year had too many emotions to name and so many memories that instagram will never capture.

I am thankful for many sleepless nights, boogie noses and the chance to hold my baby every day.

We are blessed.

Today I think about the years to come. The responsiblity that God has given me and Chris and what A HUGE gift E is to us.

I am tearful because today I look at myself and think how much better I need to be. How much I need to grow. I feel so inadequate. I feel so unprepared for the road ahead.

I felt this way one year ago as I held a 7 hour old baby- but something about that time seemed easier.
I needed to feed her, I needed to change her diaper and make sure she was warm. Her character was not really something I was concerned with at a few hours old.

I have to live a life that reflect strong moral character, love for God and kindness to others (the list goes on as I am sure you know!). The fruits of the spirit. YIKES!

I feel so inadequate.

Today I just need Jesus and his loving kidness to wash over me and remind me that just like I will guide E, God will guide me. Funny how what I feel for Elaina, God feels for me, except a MILLIONS times more.

Because of Jesus I am off the hook. I will choose to seek God on how to raise E. I pray his grace covers all my mistakes and that through our love for her, she chooses him. This next year seems more important than the last, spiritually.

I know one proactive thing I can do for both she and I: PRAY! All we can do is pray. Pray circle around our babies all day, all night. Its about leaning in. Getting closer. Going deeper.

I leave myself (and you) with this quote:
Prayer turns ordinary parents into prophets who shape the desinies of their children, grandchildren and every generation that follows ~Mark Batterson