Working on me.....

"It is a privilege to trust the Lord, and we can only do so if we are delighted at the prospect of being reliant upon His goodness towards us."

Emotional Highjacking: wrote this a week ago..why didnt it post?

Today my sister sent me an article from The Blaze. The article spoke about defense contractors and their compliance with the administration to fore go the Worker Adjustment and Retraining Notification Act (WARN); contractors are required to give workers a 60 day notice if they are about to be laid off. This request was made because many lay-offs are planned for January 2013, and 60 days previous, would be days before the election. My husbands company, I read in the article, complied.  They essentially have blackmailed these companies,offering to pay their legal fees if they wait till January to do lay offs.

My emotions went hay-wire. Having a 5 month old, just having gone under contract for a house...MY HUSBAND CANT LOSE HIS JOB!!

I drove home crying, after holding my new nephew...seeing the promise of new life in his little eyes. How could I let my joy be stolen. When I have the God I have, when I know the abounding love he has for me, for Chris and for E.

I was gently fiercely shaken to my core when I finally realize that I needed God more than I did yesterday. I think at times I am close and living in his promises and then days like yesterday remind me, I NEED MORE!

I need more Communion, more companionship, more love, more intimacy with God. I can always go deeper, I can always enter new levels of relationship with God. By his power, I can be more holy, more at peace, more in tune with the  kingdom and the King!

My hope and prayer for today is that I make choices that allow me to live, moment by moment in the presence. Not just at certain times of the day; reading my bible, listening to music, or praying, but every moment letting the Spirit guide my heart, thoughts and actions. Sanctification!

Saying NO! to TV, NO! to articles that I know will bring fear. At this time in my life, I am not healthy enough to fight the war. I need to get stronger.

I'm working on being stronger. One of my major areas for growth is comparison.

I was reading that night in John about Peter. In John 21:21 it reads....
"When Peter saw him (John, the disciple whom Jesus loved), he asked 'Lord, what about him'? Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me."

At times I want to know my future, I want to know what God has planned for my extended families future, I spend too much time comparing. This passage reminds me that I need to do Gods will for my life, stop comparing. I need to spend more time focusing on my calling, not worrying about others. I need to put my energies into following Him, and his call for me!

 If I am following God, he will equip me for whatever is to come. Good or bad. Easy or tough. His glory is at stake.

"You are my called ones, you have tough futures ahead of you, but the glory God will gain will be immeasurable.  Love is the only motivation that can afford this kind of cost. I'm a carpenter, custom blue prints are my specialty. Gods glory is my goal, fill your cisterns to the brim & follow me!"

~Beth Moore

Glory.

Sleeping in mama's bed.

 

 

People told me before I had E that I would love her in ways I never knew love.

They were right.

E has awakened me and my spirit in new ways. I want to protect her and my family in ways before I brushed off. What kinds of television I watch, music I listen too, what I say when someone cuts me off (no cuss words), how I respond to Chris when I'm irritable sleep deprived.

I have been doing a bible study in John and learning about how much John loved Jesus. John wanted to 'lean into' Jesus at every chance he had. He wanted to be Jesus' bff!

I know that whether or not I like it ( at this moment I do!) that E will be leaning into me, she will be, in not so many words, my bff for many years to come. She will be watching me, learning from me and lord willing growing closer to Him bc of me and Chris.

Im not overwhelemed in the least.

Having a baby, a child, is more than just having 'your heart outside your body' its dying to your body and self in a whole new way.

I have posted previously that I am sleep deprived and up a lot. Well this week E has had a cold and raspy cough.  I am teary eyed thinking how uncomfortable she is and how tired I am. Her runny nose is pitiful, but she smiles through it all.

E will 'call' for me as she grows, she will 'call' for me to be an example; calling me to live out the life I am telling her she should choose (life with Jesus). E looks to me to learn about hope, about grace and peace. She may not be verbally call me now but I know that God is calling me to die to myself, in new ways, so she can know him one day!

I thought marriage was hard, parenthood takes you to a whole new level. Deeper. More transparent.

There is no hiding.

Halleluajh for GRACE!!!

Tonight I pray for all the mama's I know. That you would lean into Jesus. Let him be your stronghold, your energy when you are sleep deprived and your new mercy tomorrow morning, even if morning is 4:23am. Im praying for mothers who are navigating discipline and training with their littles ones. I know there are many more things to pray, God knows them all.

I need more Jesus. I always knew I needed more than I had yesterday, maybe I'm just listening more now.

More is at stake!

Glory is at stake!

Playing with my sweet Roo.

5 months old and her very first cold

E has her first cold. She has been the happiest sick kids I have ever seen, things could be worse.

When we are sick, I usually hunker down try to act not sick. Today we have been baking, making soup and getting ready for our week.

I made chocolate chip muffins, turkey noodle soup and steel cut oatmeal bake, and pizza calzone's for C's lunch.

Sunday's have become our rest and prep day. I love cooking/baking and trying to recipes.

A good bowl of chicken noodle soup may help me but E cant have any. Been using homeopathic remedies to help clear this little bug.

My parents never gave us over the counter drugs for a number of reasons but one main reason was the ingredients and their affects on the body.

D&C red #33, FD&C blue #1, FD&C red #40, flavors, sodium benzoate, sorbitol solution, high fructose corn syrup.... are found in most common medicines.

Many people will argue the affects of these ingredients and some will think I'm cookoo for thinking HFCS is different than sugar or honey. I am not here for debate. HFCS, to me, signals poor food quality and processed ingredients; the food item is probably deplete of nutriance, freshness, and essential vitamins/minerals.

I have started weeding out where I can.

Here are a few of the homeopathic things we have been doing, that have been helping.


 Heel BHI- I bought the sinus bc Whole Foods didnt have cold and flue I break this up and add it to cod liver oil and give in a syringe. This brand has no sodium benzoate- even other homeopathic remedies had this ingredient. Heel carries remedies for bronchitis, flu/cold, headache, to name a few.

Steam- we just hang in the bathroom with the shower on hot.

Nose bulb or nose frida - suction out that stuffy nose

Burts Bees Hand Salve- this is applied to E's feet with wool sox and then her jammie's go over for the night. Its a natural alternative to Vicks Vapor Rub


Breast milk- you can use a saline nasal rinse, Neil Med makes a child one. But breast milk works great and is free!

Humidifier- Colorado is so dry. Adding a little moisture, I'm hoping will help with the dry air.

Swing- E has been sleeping in her swing which for me is not a big issues, except I feel she sleeps better when she is still.

Feeding on demand: I have always fed on demand and feel that with her being sick she needs this even more; most importantly, I know it keeps her hydrated. When in doubt, I offer her milk and let her do as she pleases. When she is not sick its a source of comfort, even more so now, it helps her fall asleep and rest.


Huge thanks to my doula Jen, with Eden's Promise, for some of these homeopathic tips.