Vines & Branches

Our 3 year wedding anniversary is 1.5 weeks away (12/31), our 4 year plane crash anniversary is coming up (1/15) and our 7 years of dating/being together is right around the corner (1/20)

We have so many blessings to celebrate. When I think about God and all that he has been faithful to do I realize HE DID IT ALL. Without me and my help.

He brought Chris to a place where he was ready to date me...then a place (through tragedy) where he was ready to marry me. Thankfully starting out family was not such a big area of struggle.

Waiting for me has always been such a struggle. I am such a 'go getter' kinda gal. I see something that I want or believe in and I make it happen! God is gently reminding me to let him lead me in his will for my life.

Today I was spending time in John reading about abiding in the True Vine. 
A few things that came to mind as I read:

One: A branch is only as good as its vine. I am nothing and have no place to belong if I am not attached to The Vine.
Second: A vision as I read this passage came to mind. I thought of being a lowly branch and being towards the root of the vine. Two things I saw in regards to being low: Bowing low to Jesus and his majesty and also being close to the deep roots and first waters that the vine receives.

I want the Holy Spirit to be my first source of life and I also want to live a life that bows low to his desires for my growing.

The passage that struck me most and I have prayed over today is John 15:2 ' He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.'

He Prunes every branch that DOES bear fruit.

Glory, Glory! This means he is growing me, making me more holy and more like him.
I dont doubt that all the waiting ,all the trauma and all the struggles (big and small) were all part of his pruning process to bring more holiness and create a more fruitful life in me.

Looking back it has been a tough journey, very dark at times. Today I look over my life and all the pruning God has graciously done in my life and I am humbled that he chose to spend so much time caring for me. My heart. My life. My spirit. My relationship with him!

As I approach 2013 (if we make it past Friday) I choose to abide in my True Vine and have a willingness to do as he sees fit for my life as a wife, mother, friend and sister.

Carry Your Name

When questions arise from these horrific acts like Friday all I can do is listen to worship. Thankfully Pandora plays my 'like' songs over and over again! This song has given me such a needed reminder that by HIS WOUNDS we are healed....those children and families are healed. Couldnt be more happy that we are celebrating his birthday this month. I am also gently painstakingly  reminded that my purpose here is to carry his name to the lost, the needy and broken hearted. I could do so much better.

Praying for peace over ALL who are affected by this tragedy. Its affecting more than just Newtown, although their pain is unlike any we will ever know. Many are struggling emotionally & spiritually and if you are a believer in Jesus, you must recognize that this all started in the spiritual realm. Thankfully we can cling to the fact that it will end in the spiritual realm someday. I have never wanted Heaven more!

 

Carry Your Name by Chrisy Nockles

 

How merciful the cross
How powerful the blood
How beautiful Your arms
Open for us

No greater love
God's only Son
Jesus, Jesus
No other name
Mighty to save
Jesus, Jesus

By Your wounds we are healed
And You have conquered the grave
And in Your rising, we will rise
To carry Your name
Above every name

I will carry Your name
Carry Your name
Jesus, Your name forever
For all of my days

 

 

 

New Blog: Oh No GMO

I have been more interested in food, healthy and true wellness more than ever these past few years.
Lately I have been doing lots of reading on GMO's and their health effects on the body, children and their links to disease. I started a blog that you can check out.
Just getting started (there is a lot to cover) but what I am finding and reading causes me great sadness for how our country looks at food, healthy and true wellness.

soundly sleeping

Co-sleeping can be a very controversial issue, especially among new mamas. Before E was born I knew that we would have some form of family bed. We used an in bed co-sleeper, co-sleeper by our bed and also good ol' sleep-right-by-mommy-co-sleeping.

After having the C-section I wanted to have easy access to her in the nights. Feedings were every hour at times. E slept with us in our bed/room till she was probably 4 months old. Then we slowly transitioned her into her crib. There are times I still bring her to bed with me and she nurses back to sleep.


There are MANY controversial issues that new parents face. To immunize, co-sleep, forms of discipline, what kind of food to feed baby, sleep training, to nurse or bottle feed after 6 months, the list goes on.

For Chris and I, many of the issues have come up among our friends and family (who we love, respect and adore).  I think like any decision you must pray and have peace in your heart. There are millions of books and ideas floating around. God needs to confirm any decision in regards to raising your child. One day we will be asked how we cared for God's gifts and knowing we did our best to honor and love God through our parenting is important to Chris and I.

I have never felt peace about letting E cry it out. I believe that babies cry for a reason, not to be manipulative. I believe that E has one form of communication and if I choose not to listen and respond, the trust we have built, may be compromised. Research shows cortisol levels in children left to cry it out creates a fight or flight response. This can affect babies small, developing brains; the research is still coming out about the effects to the brain in children left to cry it out.

My sister’s son had allergies to over 4 foods. He was not sleeping well and I would conclude (and so would she) that was because his tummy was upset. If my sister had let him cry it out she may have missed a very important health issue going on with her son. There are too many reasons a baby cries and to ignore those cries could cause you to miss something important.

I have experienced trauma of my own and it’s a very lonely path. I want to protect E's brain and the trust between she and I.

I believe, and this brings me the most peace, that E won’t be up through the night forever. This too shall pass! I know that for a few short years E may need me through the night and she may need me to offer comfort. I am saddened by parents who say 'he/she needs to learn to self soothe'. I am reminded of Gods scripture that states he will never leave us or forsake us. What happens when we are STILL struggling with the same issue as last week or last year? He is still there. Sleep is a process, not an event. '

Another comforting fact is that God has equipped our bodies to be up at night and to get much less sleep than we think we need. Hormones that God gave us allow us to function on less than we think is possible. Hallelujah!

When I think about parenting I think about God; about his grace, his mercy and his compassion.

Sometimes these parenting styles don’t seem to be filled with compassion. Good intentions, yes! These styles come from tired, worn out mamas. Don’t get me wrong, IM TIRED! I was up every hour last night (E has an ear infection). Parenting is the ultimate call to servant hood! And that previous statement is what I know many of us struggle with. Not sure what some people signed up for but when you let a book or other parenting philosopies that promises a 'perfect baby', especially in the name of Jesus, I think you're in for a long road of disappointment. Think about what may be sacraficed in the long run.

Something to think on:

Babies, like you and I, are not perfect easy. It takes time to learn new skills (math, running long distance, and sewing). I didn’t learn in college in one night. And at times I needed a tutor, a study group and even one on one help from the teacher.

I just encourage parents to really look at each philosophy, book, idea and piece of advice from friends, through God's filter. Let these ideas be sifted through his heart for you and your child.

There are only so many days that our sweet ones will want to let us rock them to sleep or cuddle them at 3am. Before we know it these moments won’t be around.

Spend time praying, be confident in your path and encourage others to do the same. We are not all going to be the same. We are different people with very different children. Education and prayerful consideration are important when it comes to each childs needs and parenting path. Easy always looks better.




A book I love is Sally Clarkson: Mission of Motherhood

Quinoa Oatmeal

Coconut Milk Breakfast Quinoa
serves 2
1/2 cup dry quinoa, rinsed
3/4 cup canned lite coconut milk + more for drizzling
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon + more for sprinkling
pinch of salt
1 banana, chopped
1/3 cup toasted pecans, chopped
Combine quinoa, coconut milk, cinnamon and vanilla in a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer, cover, and let cook for 15 minutes until quinoa can be fluffed with a fork.

Divide quinoa into two bowls then cover with bananas, berries, pecans, and a few extra drizzles of coconut milk.

Nickname

I have always been a huge nickname person. I guess I just get  names from moments that mean a lot  or funny conversations in my life with others.

Elaina has so many nicknames and she is only  6 months. Imagine what 10 years or 18 years will do.


E- Just her first initial

Elaina Carynina (Caryn-nin-a)- no real reason :)

Bumba- Elaina has a little induction team. These darling kiddos sang, danced and marched the evening I started labor. They sang a sang....' bum bumba-way-a, come,come, Eliana.' We got Bumba from the song and often sing her 'her song.'

Sugar Buns- just a sweet, fun name

Nanni- Liam our sweet nephew called E Nanni. I looked up the meaning &it means grace or favor.

Angel- Chris' special name for her when she is crying

Im sure more names will come as she grows and we experience different moments.

What nicknames do you have?

Finding it hard...

This is the season of Thanksgiving and delight in all that God has done. He has done a lot!

For me though this season is always shadowed by mini bursts of depression and darker days. The weather and inability to be outside plays a part but I also just think its a cycle my body has been in for a few years. Its nothing too concerning but I am always aware of how I can to boost my spirits and brighten my days.

A few things have added to this couple year cycle. 1.) life changes, no matter how wonderful they can cause stress 2.) election and most of the dooms-dayers surrounding the future of our country and impending fiscal cliff 3.) taking care of a sick Bumba, and hubby as of late

I have always struggled with worrying. Something that was more nurture than nature. How will we survive if there is a fiscal cliff? What will happen to all our savings? Did I pick the right baby food for E? Am I 'working' hard enough at home? Will we be affected by the health care reform, since we are on private insurance through Chris's work? What if all  my worrying affects Elaina? What if things do get worse? What exactly is worse? What if Chris looses his job in January with all the sequestration (since there has been no department of defense budget in a couple years)? What if our new furnace exploded (like that family on the news)? What if the show Revolution comes true (I do not watch that show, only know the premise)?

 WHAT IF I TRUSTED GOD? ALL THE TIME!!!!


Like I said in a previous post I see my need for God in a new way. The need has always been there, I just cant be lazy in getting my heart, mind and actions right before God. I have little eyes watching, feeling and experiencing my issues.

A few years back I was in counseling and Andrea asked me, 'what would you say to a little child if they were worrying?'..."I'd probably says....its okay, don't worry. (in a calm, reassuring voice)...God loves us so much and cares for us. We can trust  him...I know its hard. I love you and am here for you". She reminded me that this is how God talks to us. In a way which reassures us and gives us his PEACE! If we let it.

This Thanksgiving Im honestly grateful for struggle and the chance to deepen my walk & prayer life with Christ. Proclaming truth and working daily to live it out.  There will always be things to worry about. But God has given me clear, defined tasks that he wants me to care for and when I worry those things get shadowed. I want them to be a the forefront.

Not sure if you struggle with worry, doubt, depression, darker days or fear. Here are a few things that  help me.

~Working out
~Listening to music
~Memorizing scripture
~Getting out of the house, even to go to Whole Foods or Target
~Seeing friends
~Being outside (getting out of the house)
~Talking to family


I have taken a few natural supplements that have helped
~Star of Bethlehem (best one I have found!)
~Gaba
~5HTP
~Vitamin B complex


Struggling helps us connect with others who are broken, lost and needing hope. As a believer I have true Hope and through these struggle I can connect and be more real with others.