soundly sleeping

Co-sleeping can be a very controversial issue, especially among new mamas. Before E was born I knew that we would have some form of family bed. We used an in bed co-sleeper, co-sleeper by our bed and also good ol' sleep-right-by-mommy-co-sleeping.

After having the C-section I wanted to have easy access to her in the nights. Feedings were every hour at times. E slept with us in our bed/room till she was probably 4 months old. Then we slowly transitioned her into her crib. There are times I still bring her to bed with me and she nurses back to sleep.


There are MANY controversial issues that new parents face. To immunize, co-sleep, forms of discipline, what kind of food to feed baby, sleep training, to nurse or bottle feed after 6 months, the list goes on.

For Chris and I, many of the issues have come up among our friends and family (who we love, respect and adore).  I think like any decision you must pray and have peace in your heart. There are millions of books and ideas floating around. God needs to confirm any decision in regards to raising your child. One day we will be asked how we cared for God's gifts and knowing we did our best to honor and love God through our parenting is important to Chris and I.

I have never felt peace about letting E cry it out. I believe that babies cry for a reason, not to be manipulative. I believe that E has one form of communication and if I choose not to listen and respond, the trust we have built, may be compromised. Research shows cortisol levels in children left to cry it out creates a fight or flight response. This can affect babies small, developing brains; the research is still coming out about the effects to the brain in children left to cry it out.

My sister’s son had allergies to over 4 foods. He was not sleeping well and I would conclude (and so would she) that was because his tummy was upset. If my sister had let him cry it out she may have missed a very important health issue going on with her son. There are too many reasons a baby cries and to ignore those cries could cause you to miss something important.

I have experienced trauma of my own and it’s a very lonely path. I want to protect E's brain and the trust between she and I.

I believe, and this brings me the most peace, that E won’t be up through the night forever. This too shall pass! I know that for a few short years E may need me through the night and she may need me to offer comfort. I am saddened by parents who say 'he/she needs to learn to self soothe'. I am reminded of Gods scripture that states he will never leave us or forsake us. What happens when we are STILL struggling with the same issue as last week or last year? He is still there. Sleep is a process, not an event. '

Another comforting fact is that God has equipped our bodies to be up at night and to get much less sleep than we think we need. Hormones that God gave us allow us to function on less than we think is possible. Hallelujah!

When I think about parenting I think about God; about his grace, his mercy and his compassion.

Sometimes these parenting styles don’t seem to be filled with compassion. Good intentions, yes! These styles come from tired, worn out mamas. Don’t get me wrong, IM TIRED! I was up every hour last night (E has an ear infection). Parenting is the ultimate call to servant hood! And that previous statement is what I know many of us struggle with. Not sure what some people signed up for but when you let a book or other parenting philosopies that promises a 'perfect baby', especially in the name of Jesus, I think you're in for a long road of disappointment. Think about what may be sacraficed in the long run.

Something to think on:

Babies, like you and I, are not perfect easy. It takes time to learn new skills (math, running long distance, and sewing). I didn’t learn in college in one night. And at times I needed a tutor, a study group and even one on one help from the teacher.

I just encourage parents to really look at each philosophy, book, idea and piece of advice from friends, through God's filter. Let these ideas be sifted through his heart for you and your child.

There are only so many days that our sweet ones will want to let us rock them to sleep or cuddle them at 3am. Before we know it these moments won’t be around.

Spend time praying, be confident in your path and encourage others to do the same. We are not all going to be the same. We are different people with very different children. Education and prayerful consideration are important when it comes to each childs needs and parenting path. Easy always looks better.




A book I love is Sally Clarkson: Mission of Motherhood