Monday, January 7, 2013

it had to come to this....

I would say I was 'born to be a mama!'...I have always loved babies and caring for others.
Having E grew those passions & desires in new inspeakable ways. I have learned so much, been challenged beyond anything I could think of and today, I am wondering if i'm finally seeing/feeling the effects of giving myself to someone in such a deep way.

Im exhausted. I honestly want to hole up. Turn of my phone, not talk to anyone for a week (except Chris) and sleep every time E sleeps. My baby is a delight. Me being tired doesnt take away from me loving her, loving our moments together and being so thankful for her. Somtimes I think I allow myself to feel like if I loved her more I wouldnt be so tired.

Is this normal?

Sometimes even thinking about calling a friend seems like so much work. When did life seem like it was 'one foot in front of the other'?

Maybe I am just having a hard week. Maybe it is all catching up with me.

Any tips from moms out there? What can I do to get out of this funk? My friend Carolyn told me the other day that going to work is much easier than staying home with her son; she has a classroom of 30 elementary kiddos.

Needing strength, needing perspective and needing to be honest that sometimes I do try to have it all together; my house, attitude, energy for hubby, listening ear for a hurting friend & 5 time slots a week for coffee/lunch. Instragram can snap a moment and make you think its how it always is. BAHAHAHAH!

Im off to bed (8:02) and working to remember tomorrow HIS mercies are new.

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