Unknowns

After 12 years of working I am in my final stretch of being jobless; 3 weeks left!

I have been very emotional lately in regards to all the changes (and hormones).  I have always taken care of myself and provided for my needs until I got married. Even now that I am married I play a role in our families finances and even more so, I find value in the work I do.

When I think about what makes me sad, its not that I wont have a 'job' its that I wont be putting my energies into what I worked so hard for. Going to school at 24, paying for college and working full time though college. I have always had a job where I am caring for people and being part of their lives in very personal ways.I realize that as a mom I am still living out my passions of helping others and having relationships- it just looks different. I dont feel like I am giving up on my dreams I know I have accomplished them!

For me I am giving up another area of control. Trusting someone else to care for me 100% financially. And for me stepping into a whole new line of work, something I have never done before, or been trained to do.

I think this is how God wants it........

I know that God will guide and lead Chris and I as we discrene whether I am going to back to work in any capacity. I also believe that God will fill the areas that my job currently feeds with other things that He wants for me.  

All the unknowns are what scares me, I am not in control.

I feel very challenged to honor Chris and trust him as he cares for our family. I am also challenged to bless the coming season of unknowns, the wonderful, jouful, adventerous, sleepless nights of unknowns!  I may go back to work, to which capacity is the question we feel we cant answer until baby is here. We are trusting, and asking for prayer that God would guide us. We dont have to be lead by fear (me), or our own understanding of what "makes sense".

tick tock tick tock- 15 days to go!